My cat, Ozzy, is 18 years old, and for the past couple months she’s been peeing on everything. She is an old cat, it’s not going to get better, so in order to make life somewhat manageable, we have her wearing diapers.
The diapers are reusable; they came in a 3-pack from Amazon (purple, green, and orange); they have a hole for the cat’s tail and they velcro around her middle. They are about 65-75% effective. I’m certain that disposable diapers would be better, but cat disposables are so much more expensive than baby disposables and it just didn’t seem like the right thing to buy. (I indeed have a baby, his diapers come from Target and cost about seventeen cents each. The cat diapers were almost $2 a pop. Maybe I could have bought them if I didn’t know how cheap real diapers were, but here we are).
The thing that astounds me about the goddamn cat diapers is that we ordered them from Amazon and they were here the next day. That means that 1) there are enough people in the world that want these that they even exist, 2) that they are available at a consumer-level (and not something you get specially from a vet), and 3) they were sitting in a warehouse in New York or New Jersey just waiting for me to order them. And now I have them. They are here. They are part of my life, I wash them in the sink and hang them to dry. I keep track of what color Ozzy is wearing so I can rotate them properly. They leak, though, and so creaky cat is not allowed in my room or the kids’ room or on the sofa1. Still, they allow my aging, stinky cat to continue to be part of our household, to sit on my lap and have her ears pulled by the baby. I hate these stupid things, but I’m sorta grateful for them too.
Object Permanence rating: 2/10. It’s pretty clear that Ozzy is not going to live much longer, and when she goes, I’m not holding on to the cat diapers out of sentimentality. I’m already drafting the post for the Buy Nothing facebook group: “I know this is a bonkers thing to offer but I have 3 reusable cat diapers to give. Size extra small, fit my 5-pound cat just right. I’m sorry if you find yourself needing them, but know you’re not the only one.”
Joke’s on us, we keep the sofa cushions piled away in another room so we are not allowed on the sofa either.